Higanbana to Tsubaki
by tsuyuzamu
Summary: "I'll teach you how to live..." {OLDER!Killua/Male!OC - DARK THEMES, READ AT YOUR OWN RISK}


**_"Look at that boy."_**

 ** _"Ugh, what an ugly child."_**

 ** _"I heard that his mother was an insane freak. No wonder why her husband was never home."_**

 _ **"Look, he's not even crying. I don't blame him, though, who would cry for the freak of nature? I'm personally glad that she's dead."**_

 _ **"Hush, or they'll hear you."**_

 _ **"It doesn't matter, they all know of the rumors anyway..."**_

 _Every day I dream of them. I dream of their horrible words, and I wish that I could just smother myself before their annoying voices become even louder. I want to drown in thick black water, stab myself until all the blood is drained, swing back and forth on a tightly hung noose, and burn beautifully in whatever hell exists. It's awful, these dark thoughts that run through my preoccupied mind. It only makes me even uglier, doesn't it? Of course it does. Why do I even think these things? There's too many reasons, and I haven't the time to care. I only want to be gone before this horrific society pulls me deeper into it's web of sorrow and lies. But even then, I will only cause further trouble for those who don't care. I wonder how many complaints about how selfish and problematic I am will reach me before I die._

 _Heavens, I just want them to shut up for once. If only for a second, I would like to taste the exquisite sweetness of utter silence._

 _._

 _._

"Hatake-sama! Wake up, Hatake-sama! It is time to wake yourself!"

The black-haired man stirs to the sharp voice of his elderly female servant, and he reluctantly opens his heavy eyelids. He blinks several times, wondering where he is for a moment, before finally remembering that he is in his father's old home. He had recently inherited many things from his now-deceased father, the large mansion he was currently staying in being one of those things. Later on he would have to sign several papers and get several documents before he could officially gain his father's company, too. Though it wasn't as if he really needed the things. He didn't even want to live the boring life of a businessman. If only -

"Hatake-sama! Please stop sitting there with such a look of daze and get up!"

"Oh, yes..." He mumbles, and gets up to leave to the restroom.

His name is Hiroki Hatake, he is twenty-two years old, Japanese, wears prescription glasses, and is the son of a wealthy business owner. Despite being in such a 'fortunate' spot that would allow him a relaxing life filled with peace and wealth, Hiroki on the other hand thought otherwise.

He locked the bathroom door behind himself, stripping off his silver-grey pajamas and starting the shower. He didn't care about the water temperature, his body was already numb to both hot and cold anyways. It wouldn't matter. He slowly washed his hair and soaped his body before turning off the shower. In contrast to his turtle-like pace in the tub, he rather quickly dried himself and left the bathroom, walking over to his bed and finding that a suit had already been prepared for him.

It was a stormy grey, with thin white stripes. The dress shirt within it was black, the only non-monochrome color to the outfit being a blood-red tie. Hiroki sighed, his dark brown eyes narrowing. He hated this. He hated having to wear tight clothes that made him look even deader than he already was, he hated having to act like he was a stoic workaholic, and he especially _hated_ having to further push himself into the depths of high-class society. But...

 _Hiroki, you are twenty-two now. Stop acting like a child and accept the blessings that you have. I did not work so hard all these years for you to throw a tantrum._

That's what his father would've said. Hiroki growled under his breath, and angrily grabbed the suit.

It took all his will-power not to rip it to shreds with his bare hands.

 _._

 _._

 _"Is that him? Our new master? Who is he?"_

 _"Huh? You don't know?"_

 _"No. I wouldn't have asked if I knew!"_

 _"Well, that doesn't matter. He's the successor to the deceased master's company! I heard that he was the master's only son..."_

 _"Really?"_

 _"Yeah, and I also heard that he's also the illegitimate child between the master and some prostitute!"_

 _"Oh my! Is that true?!"_

 _"I wouldn't know. I only heard rumors. I wouldn't be surprised if they were true, though, just look at the man... he's so..."_

Whisper whisper. Hiroki ignored the hushed voices of those around him, not paying any one of them a single glance. They could say what they want, and he would neither deny or confirm their petty rumors. It was a shame, how people chose to spend their time spreading words said from another. It was also ironic how powerful those words could be. Hiroki sighed, trying to shove down the dark heaviness bubbling up from inside his chest, forcing himself to continue his prideful strides. He continued to walk until he reached the front door of the mansion, stopping to wait for the butlers to open the door. Once the door was open, and he sighed once more, leaving outside.

It was a cloudy day, and the air was cool. Hiroki anxiously fidgeted with his silver watch, also continuing to pace down the stairs and towards the black limousine waiting for him.

 **If only it was a funeral car.**

 _._

 _._

Finally, some damn peace and quiet.

Hiroki had spent so many hours sitting in that stuffy office with his father's CEO, the two of them doing nothing but listening to some man talk about what to do with the company now that Hiroki was going to take over it as his father's only heir. Hiroki so badly desired to just throw the company into the hands of the CEO and leave the country to some other secluded island that wasn't Japan, but he "knew better than that". So instead he just sat there, mindlessly nodding his head and letting the CEO do the talking for him.

He was a tall, broad-shouldered man with short black hair and steel-grey eyes. Everything about him, his aura and his (admittedly, handsome) looks said that he was all business and no fun. Hiroki had met the man before when he was ten, when the male was visiting his father's house with his own father (who was the previous CEO), but shortly after Hiroki had been sent to live with his mother in Kyoto. Hiroki was sure that the man, his name was Katashi Matsushita, probably didn't even remember though. They had only saw each other once, for a few seconds, after all.

Now Hiroki lied lifeless in his bed, staring up at the ceiling with a blank expression. He wasn't sleepy, but there wasn't anything he felt like doing. He never had anything he felt like doing. Did that mean he was lazy? Probably. Was being lazy a bad thing? Hiroki didn't really know, but he did know that it would just be another trait those around him could use to complain about him. Sometimes he wished that he could just... make them all shut up.

Hiroki suddenly sat up and rushed out of the bed, still in his black dress shirt and slacks. He quickly walked down the halls and stairs, ignoring the voices and protests of his servants and eventually leaving the mansion. He was going to for a walk, what was it to them? He didn't stop walking until the mansion was long gone from his sight, and once he couldn't see it anymore, he sighed in relief, his quick pace slowing down. He continued to walk down the dirt road, breathing in as much fresh air as he could. That was all he needed... just some fresh air.

Eventually, as Hiroki walked the straight path ahead of him, he started... to notice red.

Red. The color red was all around him.

Upon closer inspection, he could start to see that it wasn't just red... within the trees, were fields of red spider lilies. There were so many of them, all growing so close together, giving off the illusion of a sea of blood.

Hiroki took off his glasses for a bit, rubbing his aching eyes and then slipping the spectacles back on. He walked off the road and into the field he was closest to, trying his best not to trample on any of the spider lilies. As he gazed at the ominous flowers, he also started to remember something... it was a vague memory from when he was twelve. A memory of his late mother handing him a single red spider lily...

 _"Do you see this flower, Hiro-chin? It represents many bad things... things such as lost memories, eternal separation, and even worse, abandonment. It's such a beautiful thing... what a shame it brings such misfortune."_

Hiroki stopped walking, and knelt down to pick a flower from the field when his sharp brown eyes picked up on something else. Hiroki froze mid-pose, and squinted his eyes. A few feet away from him, lying within the tall flowers, was the body of a man. Hiroki stood up slowly, creeping towards the figure and looking over him. He was tall, with short spiky snow-white hair that made his pale porcelain complexion look even lighter. And even though he was sleeping, Hiroki could immediately see that the sleeping man was _incredibly_ beautiful, with a perfectly chiseled and symmetrical face. The longer Hiroki watched him, the tighter his chest became, until Hiroki finally looked elsewhere.

He had just began to back away when the supposedly sleeping man's eyes suddenly opened, and he turned to Hiroki with wide sapphire eyes. "Who're you?"

Hiroki admittedly nearly jumped out of his own skin, and he fell to his bottom when he clumsily stumbled back from surprise. The man let out a jocular laugh as he moved to sit up, peering at Hiroki with his sharp electric-blue eyes, looking not at all the least bit guilty. "I didn't scare you too bad, did I? I'm sorry."

Hiroki wordlessly shook his head, eyes wide. He continued to gaze at the amused man, now curious as to why he was sleeping in a field of red spider lilies. Perhaps he was just strange. "No... you didn't. Who are you?"

"I asked _you_ that earlier."

"Oh, I'm sorry..." Hiroki murmured. "I'm... Hatake Hiroki."

"Killua. Killua Zol - oh, I forgot, this is Japan... ahem, I mean, I'm Zoldyck Killua. Nice to meet ya." The white-haired man greeted casually, holding out his hand. Hiroki, on the other hand, just stared at Killua with wide eyes. He was a... Zoldyck? A member of that notorious family of assassins? He certainly looked powerful, and maybe even a bit _dangerous._

 _Then... finally... finally..._

Killua noticed the male's intense gaze, and he sighed in exhaustion. He also seemed to be a bit irritated. "Yeah, yeah, I'm part of _that_ family. 'Cause how many other Zoldycks are out there that _aren't_ assassins?"

Suddenly, and much to Killua's surprise, Hiroki _beamed._ He leaned towards Killua, smiling with immense... relief.

"That means you're an assassin, right? Can you kill someone for me?!"

A dark look flashed over Killua's face for only just a second before it disappeared just as quickly as it had come, and the Zoldyck had turned his head away from Hiroki's eager expression. "No can do. I'm an _ex-_ assassin, now. I left my fami - "

"PLEASE! I'll give you my entire company, I don't care!" Hiroki pleaded, eyes full of anxious desperation. Killua turned his gaze sharply back to Hiroki, a stormy glare making the bespectacled man freeze in slight terror. Even Hiroki, never once in his life, had ever seen a scowl so hateful. Just then, the glare softened into a strange smile... one absent of any good intentions and only chilling malice. A shiver ran down Hiroki's spine, but he gulped and forced himself to keep calm.

"Really? You'll give me your entire company if I 'kill' this guy?"

"Yes!"

"Sure... I'll make an exception. Who is it that you want me to kill?" Killua asked in an almost cocky demeanor, his smirk widening. Hiroki took in a deep breath and let it out slowly, a dark heaviness being released from his aching shoulders and tight chest. Finally, he was getting what he wanted. Finally, he could be free. Finally... he could...

 **"I want you to kill _me."_**

... live in exquisite silence.


End file.
